Can I take a BPD test on behalf of someone else?

You can read the questions to understand the condition better, but the result would not be meaningful. The questions ask about inner experiences that only the person themselves can report.

How do I suggest that someone gets assessed?

Choose a calm moment, describe what you have noticed without using a label, say that you are worried because you care, and offer practical help with finding a professional.

Can a relationship with someone who has BPD work?

Yes. With effective treatment many people's symptoms ease considerably, and relationships improve when both people have support and clear ways of communicating.

Updated November 12, 2026 · Free, no account or email

Does Someone I Love Have BPD? A Guide for Partners and Family

A quiz cannot tell you whether another person has borderline personality disorder. The tests on this site are written for people answering about themselves, and a diagnosis needs that person's own account and a professional assessment. What you can do is notice patterns, look after your own safety and wellbeing, and encourage them to seek help.

Take the 10-question BPD test In-depth symptoms test (6 minutes)

Patterns families often notice

Intense reactions to separation, lateness or changes of plan
Being seen as wonderful one day and as the enemy the next
Rapid mood changes that follow events in the relationship
Anger that seems out of proportion, often followed by shame
Impulsive actions when upset, and sometimes self-harm

Why a label from outside rarely helps

The same behaviours can come from trauma, bipolar disorder, ADHD, substance use, depression or a relationship that is in trouble for other reasons. Telling someone they have BPD usually feels like an accusation and makes them less likely to seek help.

It is more useful to describe the specific behaviour, how it affected you and what you need, and to leave the question of diagnosis to a professional.

What you can do

Stay calm and acknowledge the feeling before discussing the facts
Set clear, consistent limits and keep to them kindly
Take any talk of self-harm or suicide seriously and help them reach crisis support
Encourage an assessment, and offer to help find one or go with them
Get support for yourself: the NEABPD Family Connections programme is designed for relatives
If you are being harmed or threatened, your safety comes first; contact a domestic abuse service

Check your own experiences

Both tests are free and private. Your answers stay in your browser, and the result is a starting point for a conversation, not a diagnosis.

Take the 10-question BPD test In-depth symptoms test (6 minutes)

Common questions

Can I take a BPD test on behalf of someone else?: You can read the questions to understand the condition better, but the result would not be meaningful. The questions ask about inner experiences that only the person themselves can report.
How do I suggest that someone gets assessed?: Choose a calm moment, describe what you have noticed without using a label, say that you are worried because you care, and offer practical help with finding a professional.
Can a relationship with someone who has BPD work?: Yes. With effective treatment many people's symptoms ease considerably, and relationships improve when both people have support and clear ways of communicating.

Related guides

This page is educational and does not replace an assessment by a professional. If you may hurt yourself or cannot stay safe, find crisis support now. How our content and tests are made · Written by Tyr, founder and editor